This is the first time I've posted here since last May. Whew ... 2 days ago was the anniversary of Mom's passing ... exactly 2 1/2 years ago Saturday 2/27. God I miss her so much. So much.
Lord have mercy
Christ have Mercy
Lord have Mercy
Love in Christ,
Charles Delacroix
Lent
Monday, March 1, 2010
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Mother's Day
Two days ago was my 2nd Mother's Day since Momma died. I think it was harder than the first because Spooky wasn't here. Spooky was Momma's dog, a very old dog who lived on till about 6 months ago. I remember taking Spooky to visit Momma's grave last Mother's Day. I talked to Spooky about Momma all the time and although I have no idea what she understood and what she didn't I know she missed Momma. We both missed Momma. Well, on this Mother's Day, I couldn't get out at all all day except to visit Momma and somehow Spooky not being there hurt so much. But then everything hurt so much. Everything hurts so much since she's not here.
I had a hard time getting up yesterday and finally decided to call in sick and take a mental health day. Not ideal I know but I think I needed a recovery day. I was been looking at pictures of Momma and remembering all kinds of things and keep wondering why she's not here. The flowers on the bush out front are blooming and the honeysuckle in back is blooming and if she were here we would be talking about the flowers and now I'm wondering why in the world the flowers are blooming since she's not here. I mean I know there's an objective reason for everything. God's blessings were in her and around her and around me and throughout this world as throughout the universe. But I wasn't feeling objective. I finally got out and saw a movie and that helped a little.
I'm still struggling with this overwhelming sense of wondering why anything is since she's not here. I finally got myself to take a shower yesterday night and God willing was able to get myself in to work somehow today. But I have a hard time knowing why. I keep wondering what is the point. Except that she would want me to. That's really what keeps one foot in front of the other since she's been gone. She would want me to put one foot in front of the other. That does keep me going. Because she would want me to keep going. And in her I saw Mary and in her I think I was hearing the most basic, natural, primal word of God. Natural law reflecting divine law. Natural love as an ikon of God's love.
I'm actually feeling better tonite than last night; and felt better last night than the night before. I mean I felt really really lousy last night but that's better than the previous night when I just felt so horrible I didn't know I felt lousy because Momma's gone. Don't know if that makes any sense at all but that's the way it was and is. But God it just hurts so much.
Last night I finally got out to go over to McDonald's and eat some cherry pie and drink some coffee and read a book a little. The cherry pie was of course nothing in the world like her cherry pie. Nobody could make cherry pie like Momma. But I hadn't heard human voices most of the weekend, it's been just me here, and sometimes it helps to go sit at McDonald's for me, then at least I can hear a few human voices.
Then I went home and got some sleep. I didn't get much sleep the previous night, so I felt pretty tired and think that helped me get to sleep last night. She would want me to get my sleep. And then to work in the morning.
God I miss her so much. Everything reminds me of her and everything seems wrong without her. I'll keep on going for now because it seems even more wrong not to. But nothing seems right with Momma gone. I miss her so much.
Lord have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
Lord have mercy.
I love you Jesus. Of Your Divine Love and Courtesy, be good to my good Momma.
I love you.
Charles Delacroix
Feast of Ss Nereus & Achilleus and St Pancras
I had a hard time getting up yesterday and finally decided to call in sick and take a mental health day. Not ideal I know but I think I needed a recovery day. I was been looking at pictures of Momma and remembering all kinds of things and keep wondering why she's not here. The flowers on the bush out front are blooming and the honeysuckle in back is blooming and if she were here we would be talking about the flowers and now I'm wondering why in the world the flowers are blooming since she's not here. I mean I know there's an objective reason for everything. God's blessings were in her and around her and around me and throughout this world as throughout the universe. But I wasn't feeling objective. I finally got out and saw a movie and that helped a little.
I'm still struggling with this overwhelming sense of wondering why anything is since she's not here. I finally got myself to take a shower yesterday night and God willing was able to get myself in to work somehow today. But I have a hard time knowing why. I keep wondering what is the point. Except that she would want me to. That's really what keeps one foot in front of the other since she's been gone. She would want me to put one foot in front of the other. That does keep me going. Because she would want me to keep going. And in her I saw Mary and in her I think I was hearing the most basic, natural, primal word of God. Natural law reflecting divine law. Natural love as an ikon of God's love.
I'm actually feeling better tonite than last night; and felt better last night than the night before. I mean I felt really really lousy last night but that's better than the previous night when I just felt so horrible I didn't know I felt lousy because Momma's gone. Don't know if that makes any sense at all but that's the way it was and is. But God it just hurts so much.
Last night I finally got out to go over to McDonald's and eat some cherry pie and drink some coffee and read a book a little. The cherry pie was of course nothing in the world like her cherry pie. Nobody could make cherry pie like Momma. But I hadn't heard human voices most of the weekend, it's been just me here, and sometimes it helps to go sit at McDonald's for me, then at least I can hear a few human voices.
Then I went home and got some sleep. I didn't get much sleep the previous night, so I felt pretty tired and think that helped me get to sleep last night. She would want me to get my sleep. And then to work in the morning.
God I miss her so much. Everything reminds me of her and everything seems wrong without her. I'll keep on going for now because it seems even more wrong not to. But nothing seems right with Momma gone. I miss her so much.
Lord have mercy.
Christ have mercy.
Lord have mercy.
I love you Jesus. Of Your Divine Love and Courtesy, be good to my good Momma.
I love you.
Charles Delacroix
Feast of Ss Nereus & Achilleus and St Pancras
Saturday, March 7, 2009
The Boy in the Tree
I'm not sure why I felt like saying this Momma but I saw a boy who had climbed up in the tree next door today ... and remembered how very much I loved to climb up in trees when I was a boy. You took it all in stride didn't you Momma.
Oh God how I miss you .
I saw Singin in the Rain yesterday and oh it was so good ... I remembered when we watched it together ...
Oh how I miss you Momma
Of Your Courtesy Good Jesus take Good Care of my Good Momma
I love you
I miss you
Oh Momma
Oh God how I miss you .
I saw Singin in the Rain yesterday and oh it was so good ... I remembered when we watched it together ...
Oh how I miss you Momma
Of Your Courtesy Good Jesus take Good Care of my Good Momma
I love you
I miss you
Oh Momma
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year, Momma
I can't believe my last entry was Nov 11
But oh Momma ...
Oh Momma ...
God it hurts so so so so much
Oh God have mercy on me
Charles Delacroix
Solemnity of Mary Mother of God
But oh Momma ...
Oh Momma ...
God it hurts so so so so much
Oh God have mercy on me
Charles Delacroix
Solemnity of Mary Mother of God
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Veterans Day / Remembrance Day
I was off work today and oh Momma ... how we would have talked about Veterans' Day. Do you remember when you and I used to go to Veterans' Day celebrations? Now you're gone and I just can't bring myself to go without you ...
There's an amazing account of an amazing recording ... truly unique and truly haunting, and very very moving ... of a British gas shell battery near the close of WWI. Teachout's article is at
http://www.artsjournal.com/aboutlastnight/2008/11/tt_the_eleventh_day_of_the_ele.html
There's an amazing story at http://uk.reuters.com/article/UKNews1/idUKTRE4AA28E20081111 that Momma you would have loved.
Poems by Philip Larkin at
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/mcmxiv/ and by AE Housman at http://www.warpoetry.co.uk/housman.html are so moving. At http://www.warpoetry.co.uk/FWW_index.html there is an amazing collection of WWI poems.
Iain Murray at National Review Online shares three poems that are deeply moving:
Wilfrid Owens' "Anthem for Doomed Youth"
Including http://www.warpoetry.co.uk/owen2.html
Laurence Binyon's "For the Fallen"
http://conservativehome.blogs.com/centreright/2008/11/age-shall-not-w.html
Private Isaac Rosenburg's "The Immortals"
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-immortals/
John Derbyshire gives us O Valiant Hearts by John Stanhope Arkwright, a hymn for Remembrance Day. http://www.johnderbyshire.com/Readings/ovalianthearts.html. Momma, you seemed to me to know all the old hymns ... would you have known this one?
There's a wonderful collection of comments and movies and clips at Dirty Harry's Open Thread for the day: http://dirtyharrysplace.com/?p=5577#comments to which I felt moved to contribute this for myself:
Awesome thread. God bless USS Ben, Rather Read’s father, Lord Jiggy ,Carol’s Dad, Major Graham, John McClain’s uncle, and all veterans. Including my Dad, now deceased … he was in Bastogne in the Battle of the Bulge. And never, ever talked about it. Mom said he just once told her that it was hell. Thank God for all those who endured hell so that we can be free today.
I liked The Patriot and We Were Soldiers. Has anyone mentioned The Longest Day? The theme song always puts a lump in my throat, still does. Great movie.
For readings today, I read from Churchill’s WWII memoirs … very moving. Before that, yesterday, I got off work earlyand went to see An American Carol which is still in the dollar theatres around here. For any movies actually in theatres today, my vote would be for this for a good Veteran’s Day tribute flick … if your taste in humor runs to the slightly insane, which mine does. But there’s a scene near the end at the Trace Adkins concert showing soldiers lined up over the years into the Revolutionary past that really brought tears to my eyes.
Happy Veterans Day to all. And to veterans, it’s too small a word, but it’ll just have to do:
*THANKS*
Charles Delacroix
And on this wonderful feast day of that wonderful Soldier of Christ, St Martin de Tours, O Lord I ask your continued blessing for my dear Momma ... and my Dad ... oh Lord ... those two were in so many ways the true WWII generation at so many levels ...
Thank you ... thank you all.
Love in Christ,
Charles Delacroix
Feast of St Martin de Tours
There's an amazing account of an amazing recording ... truly unique and truly haunting, and very very moving ... of a British gas shell battery near the close of WWI. Teachout's article is at
http://www.artsjournal.com/aboutlastnight/2008/11/tt_the_eleventh_day_of_the_ele.html
There's an amazing story at http://uk.reuters.com/article/UKNews1/idUKTRE4AA28E20081111 that Momma you would have loved.
Poems by Philip Larkin at
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/mcmxiv/ and by AE Housman at http://www.warpoetry.co.uk/housman.html are so moving. At http://www.warpoetry.co.uk/FWW_index.html there is an amazing collection of WWI poems.
Iain Murray at National Review Online shares three poems that are deeply moving:
Wilfrid Owens' "Anthem for Doomed Youth"
Including http://www.warpoetry.co.uk/owen2.html
Laurence Binyon's "For the Fallen"
http://conservativehome.blogs.com/centreright/2008/11/age-shall-not-w.html
Private Isaac Rosenburg's "The Immortals"
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-immortals/
John Derbyshire gives us O Valiant Hearts by John Stanhope Arkwright, a hymn for Remembrance Day. http://www.johnderbyshire.com/Readings/ovalianthearts.html. Momma, you seemed to me to know all the old hymns ... would you have known this one?
There's a wonderful collection of comments and movies and clips at Dirty Harry's Open Thread for the day: http://dirtyharrysplace.com/?p=5577#comments to which I felt moved to contribute this for myself:
Awesome thread. God bless USS Ben, Rather Read’s father, Lord Jiggy ,Carol’s Dad, Major Graham, John McClain’s uncle, and all veterans. Including my Dad, now deceased … he was in Bastogne in the Battle of the Bulge. And never, ever talked about it. Mom said he just once told her that it was hell. Thank God for all those who endured hell so that we can be free today.
I liked The Patriot and We Were Soldiers. Has anyone mentioned The Longest Day? The theme song always puts a lump in my throat, still does. Great movie.
For readings today, I read from Churchill’s WWII memoirs … very moving. Before that, yesterday, I got off work earlyand went to see An American Carol which is still in the dollar theatres around here. For any movies actually in theatres today, my vote would be for this for a good Veteran’s Day tribute flick … if your taste in humor runs to the slightly insane, which mine does. But there’s a scene near the end at the Trace Adkins concert showing soldiers lined up over the years into the Revolutionary past that really brought tears to my eyes.
Happy Veterans Day to all. And to veterans, it’s too small a word, but it’ll just have to do:
*THANKS*
Charles Delacroix
And on this wonderful feast day of that wonderful Soldier of Christ, St Martin de Tours, O Lord I ask your continued blessing for my dear Momma ... and my Dad ... oh Lord ... those two were in so many ways the true WWII generation at so many levels ...
Thank you ... thank you all.
Love in Christ,
Charles Delacroix
Feast of St Martin de Tours
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Show Me Another Bunny
Momma you and I loved this ...
http://www.rabbit.org/fun/net-bunnies.html
we would watch and click on picture after picture and laugh and laugh ...
Oh Momma I miss you so so so so so so much ...
I love you
I love you
I hope you're having fun with Spooky and petting her and maybe even watching her chase rabbits and squirrels and laughing right now.
Oh God
Oh God
Have mercy on me and my dear Momma
Charles Delacroix
Feast of St Terese d'Avila
http://www.rabbit.org/fun/net-bunnies.html
we would watch and click on picture after picture and laugh and laugh ...
Oh Momma I miss you so so so so so so much ...
I love you
I love you
I hope you're having fun with Spooky and petting her and maybe even watching her chase rabbits and squirrels and laughing right now.
Oh God
Oh God
Have mercy on me and my dear Momma
Charles Delacroix
Feast of St Terese d'Avila
Pepper
Momma, I have a new dog.
She will never ever ever ever be able to take Spooky's place.
But she's a good dog and I think you would like her.
Her name is Pepper and she's about 8 years old. She's a black & white rat terrier ... and she looks really so much like Tippy. Tippy was a black & white fox terrier ... we had in the early 1960s. Lost in Tripoli ... in about 1967 or 1968 or so.
But Momma you would like Pepper. I got her on Sunday ... and took her to visit you ... and she is so full of energy and she likes hot dogs and she likes attention and being petted ... you would love her.
O Momma I miss you.
I miss you so much.
Lord Jesus Christ Son of God Have Mercy on Me and on my Momma.
I love you Momma
I love you Jesus
Charles Delacroix
Feast of St Teresa of Avila
She will never ever ever ever be able to take Spooky's place.
But she's a good dog and I think you would like her.
Her name is Pepper and she's about 8 years old. She's a black & white rat terrier ... and she looks really so much like Tippy. Tippy was a black & white fox terrier ... we had in the early 1960s. Lost in Tripoli ... in about 1967 or 1968 or so.
But Momma you would like Pepper. I got her on Sunday ... and took her to visit you ... and she is so full of energy and she likes hot dogs and she likes attention and being petted ... you would love her.
O Momma I miss you.
I miss you so much.
Lord Jesus Christ Son of God Have Mercy on Me and on my Momma.
I love you Momma
I love you Jesus
Charles Delacroix
Feast of St Teresa of Avila
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