Disconnection from History

This morning I was visiting, you, Momma ... and suddenly suddenly suddenly realized something about losing you that cuts so very deeply ... I mean one more of many many ways in which your loss cuts so very deeply ...

Momma ... you gave me so many many things ... and among those many things ... you gave me History ...

You were my connection with all of human History ...

History

My first interest ... my first love ... my first subject in college ... the first thing I always turn to when I'm really down ... and now ... and now I find that you ... my literal connection with all of human history back to Adam and Eve ... you were my History ... in so many ways ...

Oh oh oh oh oh ...

I still dont' really know what to think of this but I do know this dear Momma

I miss you so so so much

I miss you Momma

I feel disconnected from History without you

from reality from all that is

Existentially all that is real is to me human history in the Here and Now.

History intersecting with the Here and Now is ... well ... me ... in Christ ... Here and Now ...

And Momma you are my History ...

You gone leaves me deracinated and stripped of History ...

of Being

of Reality

Except only in You O Lord ...

Once again my only Hope ...

My only Faith Hope and Love

Your Way of the Cross stripped You of History

My Way of the Cross Following You is stripped of History as well

O Lord

O Lord

Charles Delacroix
Thursday before the Baptism of the Lord
The existential act that connected Our Lord with Human History in John the Baptist
Whose birthday is the birthday of my Momma