Visitation of Our Lady ... yet No Place to Go

I cleaned up the house and mowed the yard and really, Momma, I think you would say that things look nice. A little spring cleaning.

But you're not here. So what is the point.

I was listening and looking for little "peepers" in the back yard. I heard them the other night.

But you're not here to talk with about those wonderful little "peepers". So what is the point.

I looked for "those cotton-tailed bunnies" we always kept an eye out for. Didn't see them ... hey but I did see some rabbits in Hornersville last weekend ... oh but Momma you aren't here to talk about them so O God what is the point really.

All four bushes against the fences are green and lush and we would talk about that, wouldn't we Momma. They all made it after all. And I saw a place on the other side of one of those bushes that looks like there might have been that box turtle ... tortoise? but we always called them all turtles didn't we.

But you aren't here to talk about the turtles. So why ... what indeed is the point.

Yet on this Feast of the Visitation of Mary ...

I listen to Mary's Voice ... proclaiming the Lord ...

And O Momma I know that even in y0ur silence you bear witness to the Lord ...

Mary at the Foot of the Cross you wept for your dying Son

Mary at the Foot of the Cross I weep for my dead Momma

And beg You Lord Jesus

with the intercession of all the Saints and the Blessed Virgin Mary

Please please please please

Take good care of my good Momma

O Momma how I miss you. How I love you.

O God I love you but O I don't know how to make it really.

But people do.

As you said ... days before the End ... "it's the way things are." You're right Momma. You alway were so right in so many ways.

Oh God have mercy on my soul.

Love in Christ,

Charles Delacroix
Feast of the Visitation of Our Lady

Story and History

I think the reason I'm so deeply attracted by history ... and story of any kind ... genealogy, tales, anecdotes, anything of that nature ... History was always my first love as a subject ... the Story of What Was and What Happened ... all of these things speak to the very core of my being, to the very heart of my heart.

"Once upon a time ..."

"In the beginning ..."

Oh God how these capture me again and again.

Momma that is why I think of your own story so much. And more recently especially of the stories of the Arthurs ... reflected in a few brief inscriptions in the Arthur Cemetery ...

Oh God

Oh Momma how I miss you. How I miss you telling your story, telling the stories of others, being your own story.

Oh I love you and miss you and am so so so so gratetful Momma ... thank you thank you ... oh thank you ...

Thank You Lord

Thank you all

Thank you

I love you and miss you so much

I love you

Oh God

Charles Delacroix
Saturday

Oh God how I miss you

Raining this morning ... it's been raining all night ... and I can hear the "peepers" out back.

How we would have talked about that sound ... Oh Momma ...

I went back to the Arthur Cemetery this weekend, and cleaned it up some more, and transcribed as much as I could in the time. I put Memorial Day flags on your father's grave in Horner Cemetery, and I made sure the roses were still there on your mother's grave and your grandma Lizzie Rust's grave. All in Horner Cemetery.

But back about Arthur Cemetery ... or the Hutchens Cemetery as it's more commonly called. What a wonderful place. Overgrown but full of memories I thought. Your great-grandparents Samuel Arthur and Louisey Arthur ... my great-great-grandparents are there. So is Grant Arthur, Lizzie's brother, your uncle ... my great-uncle. I put flower's on Louisey's grave and flags on Samuel's and Grant's graves. And also a flag on Z.B. Burton's grave. So many Burtons there. I remember you telling me about all the Arthurs ... but don't remember the Burtons. I think they are pretty much all kin ... since Burtons intermarried with Arthurs at 3 points somewhere back there, didn't they?

1. Z.B. Burton I think is the Zechariah Burton, son of Hugh and Mary Burton ... and Mary's maiden name was Arthur, she was Samuel's sister. My calculator says that that makes Z.B. Burton your 1st cousin twice removed ... my 1st cousin thrice removed ... :-)

2. Martin Arthur, Mary's brother, and Samuel's brother, married Anna Burton. I'm guessing they must be buried back in Indiana, where the Arthurs & Burtons came from, but am not sure.

3. Celianna Arthur, old Joseph Arthur's sister ... that is, she was aunt to Samuel, Mary, and Martin ... Celanna married Hugh Livingston Burton.

I find this all deeply humbling ... and miss you so much Momma, you would have loved to talk about them. How we loved to talk about our family in the past Momma. Oh to talk with you amid the sounds of the spring frogs and peepers ... oh how I miss you so so so so so much.

And today is the 27th ... exactly 9 months since you were buried. I made sure that there are flowers on your grave Momma. Aunt Edna put flags there for Memorial Day. There were lots of folks at the cemetery for Memorial Day. How we would have talked about that, too, and how moved you would have been, as am I.

I love you so much

So much

I miss you so much

Oh Lord Jesus pelase please please please please take good care of my good Momma

I miss you Momma

I love you Momma

I love you Jesus

Charles Delacroix

The Old Arthur Cemetery

Oh Momma ...

Ever since last weekend ... since Mother's Day ... it's been on my heart to visit the Old Arthur Cemetery, as you always called the old abandoned family cemetery of the Arthur forebears on your side of our family.

So ... by God's Grace ... as I hope ... I did it.

I drove to Hornersville, your birthplace, last Friday ... intending to return to Tulsa the next day ... but actually coming back today, Trinity Sunday.

After some work & some searching & some queries ... by God's Grace and perhaps a nudge or two by you or some of our forebears among the Arthurs ... I found it.

In the middle of a farmer's field ... it looked like a wooded mound ... had to walk across the field to reach it ..

And thne it was so overgrown I could only make out one marker.

So I set about cleaning it up. Went to Walmart & got a weedeater & some supplies ... and after much work had about 2/3 of the hillock cleared.

And to my delight found graves of JW Arthur, John Arthur, Samuel Arthur, Grant Arthur ... and ... oh my God ... Louisey Arthur. The old widow of old Samuel Arthur, said to be buried in Indiana, where he came from. But there was Louisey. With two of her sons (Grant and Samuel) buired on either side of her. What a family she raised.

Among her children was Elizabeth "Lizzie" Arthur. Mother of Bertha Victoria Rust. Mother of you Momma.

Yes Louisey Arthur (maiden name Goad) is my Great-Great-Grandmother.

Oh Momma I put flowers on the grave of each of our maternal forebears. Louisey, and Lizzie, and Bertha.

Lizzie and Bertha being in the Horner Cemetery, which was a wonderful visit.

Oh Momma how I miss you

Oh Momma how grateful I feel to you and to all our forebears.

Oh Momma

Oh Lord Jesus

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

Charles Delacroix
Trinity Sunday

Happy Mother's Day, Momma

Oh Momma Happy Mother's Day ...

I miss you so much ... and feel exhausted ... just worn out ... from feelings ... and crying ...

But oh my it's good to remember ...

I cancelled out of meeting Aunte Edna and Cousin Rosanna for Mother's Day Lunch ... saw a movie ... and then thought I'd take a Mother's Day tour of your ... and our ... residences ... in hte order in which you lived in them. I don't know if I've done this before: in order. But really treasured this opportunity ... and realized that you and Dad had been working your way South on either side of Yale Ave over time ...

but I went to N Urbana ... you and Dad were there, what, from about 1949 to 1953? It looked great, Momma. The neighborhood has been cleaned up of the post storm detritus. I enjoyed looking down the alley out back ... and looking at the back yard where you are sitting in those pictures

Then to S Pittsburg. 1954 - 1960 I think? This is where you and Dad were living when Iwas born, and my sister. Again, looks nice, cleaned up.

Then E 32nd Place. About 1960 - 1965 or so? Again, cleaned up. Looks great.

Finally #E38th Place. 1965-66 maybe? Just before we moved overseas. Looks great.

Momma I've thought of how much I'd like to visit where you live in Hornersville .. and think really with me having Fri-Sat-Sun all off from work now, I could feasibly to any long weekend.

Well we'll see. Oh Momma though it was fun to visit your old homes ... :-)

I love you Momma

I miss you Momma

Oh happy Momm'as Day Momma!

Psalm 103 ... and Momma

OOR from Pentecost is so so ... happy. Upbeat.

OK but God that's not how it feels right now to me.

O God

O Momma how I miss you ... o how I miss you ...

How do people do this how do they do this

But they do

They do

Oh God

Oh Momma

Psalm 103 (104) is the heart of OOR for Pentecost ... and oh what a sweeping vision of Your Creation oh God and of Your Providence it gives. Really so very very very much like Your Answer to Job. So is this too my answer? I guess so ... I guess it will have to do at all events ... till another, in a better place, perhaps.

This jumped out at me this morning in Ps 103 ...

man goes out to his labour,
and works until evening.

That's really ... almost ... the only allusion to Man in this whole sweeping Psalm. There's a verse mentioning ships, and of course that implies Man. There's a verse almost incongruously placed about Sinners. But not so incongruously perhaps: for Man, Righteousness is to act in Accordance with Your Will, Your Creative and Providential Will. To do as we are humbly Created to do. To in fact respond to his humbling call:

man goes out to his labour,
and works until evening.

What else indeed is there for us to do in this world? We go out and labour, and work till evening. Then sleep and the next day, it starts again.

Until indeed we complete our whole lifetime of labour in this world ... and in the evening of life lay our tools aside as You gather us home.

This connects Ps 103 indeed to the Hymn at the beginning of MP for the Office for the Dead this morning.

The Hymn also almost incongruously alludes to the evening of life ... this in a Hymn set for Morning Prayer.

But of course the Evening of Life is always at the Close of Life no matter the time of day.

Oh Momma

Oh Momma in the Evening of your life you went forth from this world called by Another
Oh Momma I acknowledge the Call and Your Obedience to that Call
But Oh God
Oh Momma
How I miss you
Oh how I miss you
I go forth and labor and come home in the evening
And you are not here
you are not here
So what is the point
Why
Why
Why
Why

The question of Job and of the Man on the Cross

Answered by the later chapters of Job

And by Psalm 103

Oh God

OK dammit
OK

Hail Mary
Full of grace
the Lord is with thee
Blessed art thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb
JESUS
Holy Mary
Mother of God
Mother of all
Mother of Mothers
Mother of my mother
Mother of me
Pray for us sinners
Now
and at the hour
of our death
Amen

Till Eventide takes us
Till Eventide takes me to be with you O Momma I hope and pray
Till then
I love you
And I miss you
Momma

man goes out to his labour,
and works until evening.

Hell

OK God
OK

Thy will be done

Charles Delacroix
Pentecost
Mothers Day

Oh God I Miss You So Much Momma

It was so nice to visit you Momma but O God it hurt so so so so so much

It hurts now

oh God
Oh God
Oh Momma
Oh God
Oh Momma

I miss you so much Momma

*Two* Rabbits!

Momma, I was just looking again ... and there are *two* rabbits back there. One is creeping into the yard next door, the other along the back fence line.

I did get a photo of a rabbit in the front yard only ... oh, I think ... 2 days ago.

Oh and Momma I haven't posted here about Sand Springs Lake.

I went there Friday, and then yesterday, took Spooky there.

Both times I took along the photos of you and Dad and a 1 year old me and your friends at Sand Springs Lake ... back in 1955.

Oh Momma.

Oh God thank you for my Momma.

I'll have to post more.

Love in Christ,

Charles Delacroix
Pentecost Sunday
Mother's Day

Mother's Day

Oh Momma ... I looked out into the back yard, and the bunny rabbit was creeping along just outside the back fence. I started to try to take a picture ... but the tears in my eyes and my thoughts of you were overwhelming. Oh Momma. Oh God. Oh Momma ...

Roses at the Rose Garden

Just lovely ... and in bloom everywhere at the Rose Garden.

Two weeks ago, there was not, I think, a single bloom. Now they are everywhere.

Especially the pale pink roses called Pink Chiffon.

And the orange-red roses called Marmalade Skies.

Deep red rose beds as well ... all so lovely.

Oh Momma how you would have loved these.

Perhaps you do even now by God's grace enjoy these roses ... and all that blessed Eternity in Christ can vouchesafe you Momma.

I love you and I miss you.

So much ...

So much ...

Iris and Mom

Mom loved irises. Especially the "traditional" kind ... purple iris that grew heavily in Southeast Missouri ... the kind of iris she called "flags."

I went for a walk with Spooky late this afternoon and we walked along a long, outside flowerbed at Woodward Park that was filled with an enormous range of irises. Almost all were in bloom. What a lovely sight. All those iris ... spiky, sword-like stalks topped by ragged beauty.

Don't tell me that can't be a metaphor for Mom's life. Maybe for all life.

Hello, Dolly

I watched Hello, Dolly http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064418/ on the Movie Club on OETA tonite ... Momma I loved it ... but oh God ... Momma loved it .. and I don't understand at all how to like Hello, Dolly without Momma here to like it too.

Nonsense ... well ...

Oh God how I miss Momma

Please please please take good care of my Momma

I love you and miss you Momma

I love you Lord Jesus

Thy will be done

Oh God

thy will be done

Charles Delacroix
Feast of Ss Philip & James