Last night I ran into Walmart to get a phone card ... and as I walked through the displays, I kept looking over at the women's clothing wondering, I wonder if they might have gotten in that kind of jean skirt that they didn't have before and that Mom liked so well? I looked over at the Depends section of the pharmacy and wondered if I needed to get some more. I looked over at the wipes and wondered the same thing. I glanced down at the furniture section and wondered if they might have the kind of side table that would be the right height for her in her wheelchair.
I kept looking and wondering and thinking the same kinds of things I've been thinking when she was here. But she's gone. And there's no point to my thinking those things anymore.
She's gone. ANd I guess I'm feeling a little of the Empty Nest Syndrome. But honestly ... you know ... I honestly can't think of any reason at all, in this world, why I should even exist today. Don't get me wrong I'm not suicidal at all. But I wonder what in the wolrd I'm doing here. She's gone. Why am I still here? What's the point? I don't have anything to do.
And OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I miss her so MUCH .....................
Hail Mary full of Grace the Lord is with you
blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the Fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death
amen
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