Recognition and Representation

Earlier this morning, Mom woke up and we talked. She recognized me, told me that she had "missed me terribly" ... she hadn't remembered anything from the night at all ... and oh how good it felt to hear these words after last night.

This recognition - in the Here and Now - does feel so, so, so good. Don't get me wrong, I know that recognition or no recognition, the Truth is the Truth. I am her son, she is my Mom. Still this recognition helps me in a Representation process that humanly speaking I seem to need so much. I'm not sure that this need is a good thing at all, but I'm very sure it's human. And nothing that is human is foreign to My Mother the Church, as the Popes have said more than once.

To me one of the by far greatest challenges is, on a daily basis, in the Here and Now, to Recognize God's Presence. To Recognize allows a Re-Presentation to me that He is Here and He is Now. But I walk through my days with cars whizzing past and groceries to buy and radios and TV's blaring ... and Recognizing the Ground of Being beyond all these beings is so hard.

The hospital where my Mom is at is a Catholic Hospital. This provides lots of typically Catholic opportunities to Remind, to Recognize, and to Re-Present. There are Crucifixes everywhere. There are pictures of a nun in the lobby, of saints here and there throughout the building, and, in my Mom's case, last night, a CNA who is a Sister, and who wore, God's blessings be upon her, a full habit. I love seeing Nuns and Brothers and Priests in full clericals. To me they Remind and they help me Recognize that, or who, they Re-Present.

There's also a Chapel with the Blessed Sacrament in full exposition. For there is a Perpetual Adoration here. I availed myself by God's Grace of a brief visit to the Chapel several times during the night. Someone was always there praying before the Blessed Sacrament. Each time I entered I knelt and prayed and rose and left, without any semblance of "Sensation" at all. This lack of Sensation meant that the RePresentation wasn't as immediate to my senses. But Christ was and is There. If He is There, then He is Here: Here and Now.

She's dying. That's what they said. O God.