Mom and Rome

Mom is in the hospital tonite ... with a bout of CHF. I don't have a lot to say but needed to say something somewhere, somehow ... about this Here and Now that frankly has me feeling like an old rag twisted and pulled this way and that.

I was sitting in the ER with my Mom unconscious, having just been told by the doctor that their tests say she has added new heart damage to her challenges ... I was sitting there crying and crying and wondering and waiting and thinking dark thoughts ... and then I looked up and saw the Crucifix. For this is a Catholic hospital, and the Crucifix is everywhere to be seen. And when I saw I realized that He is Here and He is Now in the Here and Now of this elderly lady on the point of death.

I thought of something else too .. I thought of Rome. I had been increasingly thinking to myself that I should set for myself a goal of a Pilgrimage to Rome. There's a wonderful collection of Italian art at our local art museum, and this Italian collection is replete with evocative reminders that this Other Place and Other Time is full of commentary on our Here and Now.

Oh it hurts so much, Lord, to be in this place in the Here and Now. Thank you, O Lord, for the Gift and Privilege of knowing this amazing old woman. And Please, O Lord, if it be according to your Will, grant that I might be granted one more gift: your Rome.

Oh but how this waiting and worrying tears at my heart. O Lord, "That which I greatly feared has come upon me."