A House and a Yard and a Dog ...

Today is the day after the annivesary of my Momma's passing from this world ...

I've been thinking about this and a few other things ... and ... oh Momma ...

First, the night before last I stayed up all night ... cleaning up the house ... not, to be honest, because I wanted to do any kind of cleaning at all ... but because I'm seeking a mortgage in order to buy my sister's half of my Momma's house ... and the appraiser was scheduled to inspect the house yesterday.

So I really worked on things ... and cleaned up ... and in so doing ... moved things that I have been so so so so so reluctant to move ... things that had been sitting in the place they've been sitting ... since you left dear Momma ... since before you left ...

Well I've put some things back ... others not. I know, I know ... it's part of the natural process to change ... slowly ... these things ... but oh it feels ... it feels what ... I don't even know ... as if on the one hand Momma would have wanted me to do ... on the other it feels like another death, another passing, of Momma ...

It hurts

I've been thinking about the yard ... and the yards we've had, Momma, in the past ... the feel of grass under my feet as a boy ... the clover, the "sheep's shire", the lazy hazy days of later summer, like this one ...

And the yard, the back yard, of Henry Poole is Here. What a wonderful movie. But that back yard ... succoed, whitewashed, dry ... so like our back yard in Tripoli, years and years ago ...

Whew ...

Momma I miss you so so so so so so much

Oh Jesus please please please ... take good care of my good Momma ...

I love you Momma

I love you Jesus

I love you

Charles Delacroix
Feast of St Rose of Lima