The End of 2007 ...
The Eve of the Feast of Mary Mother of God ...
Oh Momma how I miss you ...
Really, it's not been a "bad day" ... I don't feel sad or depressed or anything, really ... I just feel blah ... and frankly lifeless, hopeless ... the bleakness and futility of the future seems summed up in the prospect of a New Year.
Still, this morning, I took pictures of Mom's grave, really lovely under a light, sparkling frost.
This morning, I heard a story on NPR about foods traditionally eaten in different places for the new year. Italians, they said, traditionally eat lentils and Italian Sausage. The lentils are in the shape of coins and signify the wish for prosperity in the new year. This sounds so natural and traditional that I can't help but be attracted to this ceremony. I was tempted to buy some Italian Sausage but didn't in the interest of keeping costs down as much as possible these days. But I fixed a big bowl of lentils tonite, mixing in onions & seasoned with onion salt, and really it was good. Oh Lord I do pray for prosperity in the new year, in accordance and concordance with Sons and Daughters of Adam and Eve in Italy and elsewhere.
The dog and I went to Woodward Park for a walk this afternoon, and then this afternoon, we both visited Mom to wish her a Happy New Year and to give her a coo and say "Night night ... night night, Momma, and don't let the bedbugs bite," as she would say smilingly.
I thought of dismantling the Christmas Tree but didn't. Tomorrow ... but tonite, one last night of Christmas Lights on the Prettiest Christmas Tree We've Ever Had ... Momma, I know you would have liked the Tree taken down today, but forgive me, I so love to look at the lights even as I feel utter emptiness and devastation in this place in your absence, Momma ...
I watched Bad Santa, always a wonderful antidote to Christmas blues, and I worked on sorting through documentation needed to file for student loan repayment in the prospective new year.
Oh my dear Momma how I miss you so ...
O I love you Lord Jesus ... and please please please ... O Lord ... take good care of my dear Momma ... please ...
I love you Momma and miss you so much
I'm drinking some more egg nog in your memory O Momma and beg all the Angels and Saints who have gone before to celebrate the New Year with you dear Momma ...
And I look forward by God's Grace to celebrating a New Day and a New Eternal Year with you oh Momma ... God willing O Lord ...
I love you both ... I love you all.
Charles Delacroix
Feast of Pope St Sylvestre
Eve of Mary Mother of God
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