Sunday, July 13, 2008

Sheol .. the Valley of the Shadow of Death

This is Sheol.

It is.

It just is.

Oh God.

I finished mounting the info on the Hutchens Cemetery ... a very old, very undocumented family cemetery where my G-G-Grandparents are buried ... and much of Momma's side of the family. I mounted the info into Findagrave. And reading those brief, brief histories again ... and thinking of how they were inter-related ... how short the lives ... how tragic ... those 3 Burton babies all buried beside their mother ... my G-Granduncle, Grant, buried beside his mother, my G-G-Grandmother ... she died in the flu epidemic of 1916 ... and he died 8 days after her, his mother ... oh God how tragic how horrible ...

OK ... Hope in God you are my only Hope

But this really is f'd up. It's f'n f'd cup.

What Hope. What Hope.

Only this ... Oh Jesus ... oh Job ... you went through this ... you went through this ... and did not pretend that anything was less horrible than it is. The Cross is horror. All is horror. That's just the way it is.

I drove the dog a short distance ... she just couldn't make it to the park ... we took a short, short walk over at my old elementary school. She's old ... and her joints must hurt the way she walks ... I gave her aspirin but still she limps ... and she pants and I pet her and hug her and tell her I love her. Momma's dog ... I promised her I'd take good care of her ... but oh God she's really just not eating. I"m boiling some Brown Eggs, Momma, right now, just like you used to do, to see if she'll eat them.

Oh God Oh God

Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me

Oh God

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