I keep trying to take notes and take pictures of things to remind me of what she was like. But nothing really works. Re-reading what I write about her it seems so wooden and … dead. Nothing is like her really. Nothing. What did Boswell say upon Johnson’s death? “Johnson is dead. Let us go to the next. There is none. No one can put you in mind of Johnson.” I can and do say the same about Mom.
Yet working on my "memory book" and taking pictures and photos and writing down my thoughts ... even if this can't bring her back, and can't keep her here ... yet it gives me something of an Image or Icon of this wonderful, wonderful Mom.
I do miss her so much. Yet I fear my memory so much losing even what little I have been given of her now, only a few days after her burial, a week and a half after her death.
Besides, frankly ... if I don't really have anything to look forward to going into the future, why not indeed look into the past.
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