Something Good Took Place Back Then ...

I was going through old photo albums of my Mom's, and kept feeling an ache that I thought comprised mostly the pangs of grief mixed with thanksgiving and wishing (yet again) that she was still here.

Then I suddenly realized that at least a small part of my pain of recollection had to do with remembrance of past pain. Old, old pain ... from within my very own family way back then ...

After all, my family was not perfect. Neither was my upbringing. Neither was my character or my behavior. Far, far from it.

Oh my. Memories of past hurts and past sufferings have certainly waned over the years. But bringing the memories back to mind definitely brings back some of the troubles and unhappiness of those days as well.

All this was partly ... not entirely ... connected with the very real weaknesses in our whole family enterprise. Severe dysfunctionality in fact ... severe enough to lead eventually to the splintering of our little nuclear family. Mom and Dad were divorced. Their daughter, my sister, followed a path leading to estrangement. She married and had two children, then divorced; then she remained substantially estranged, and her children remain completely estranged. I myself was married then divorced, with no children. All in all, it wouldn't be hard to argue that the family enterprise undertaken by my mother proved (well) unsuccessful.

But then I think back to that movie, "Perfect Storm." Yes: things didn't, ultimately work out. But looking back, I think she ... and our little family ... "had a hell of a run" in the words of the movie. In fact, maybe my sister and her children will carry on a legacy of their own for our little family.

But of course even their legacy will at some point die out. For all legacies (again) fail. All families die out. Ultimately nothing and no one is successful, if the measure of success is survival. Death comes for us all.

In the mean time ... hey, we do what we can, don't we?

And looking back my own memory of Mom and our family is that whatever else took place back then, something good definitely took place as well. And for much of that good Mom herself was unquestionably responsible. I am off course qualified to be no one's judge, much less Mom. But I was there; I saw; I heard; I experienced ... enough to affirm unequivocally that Mom did much good. In so many many ways. The photo albums of course only tell part of this story. But there's Mom getting me and my sister out for a field trip to Sabratha. There's that piano ... for which Mom paid for me having lessons. Nope, they didn't "take", but that's hardly for lack of support from Mom. She paid for me having a French tutor in Libya. And when I saw the movie "Transformers" I suddenly remembered that she was our very own Tooth Fairy, who exchanged a few coins for our baby teeth that we offered up. I found some of those teeth the other day: she had saved and treasured these, and other memories of our childhood. Then of course she fed us, clothed us, wiped our bottoms, sat up at night with us when we were sick, took us to Sunday School, hunted for things we lost, took us to our friends, and many many many things she did for us besides.

And of course all of these things add up to her having given us a mother's love.

She did many things wrong, I have no doubt. But she had the courage to form, along with my father, a family, and she gave it a go.

And she gave it one hell of a run.

Something good did take place back then.

And for that I am deeply, deeply grateful.

I can never say it enough, but I'll say it anyway: Thank you Mom

And thank you Lord for my Mom.

May she Rest In Peace.

Love in Christ,

Charles Delacroix
Eve of the Feast of St Therese de Lisieux