Community

Yesterday morning I was listening to NPR ... there was an interview with someone who had written a book with a title I can't find on Google right now, but it was something like, "The Short Bus". The author heads a disabilities advocacy group of some kind, and told a very moving story about someone with Asperger's Disorder. Asked when such a person might feel "normal", the author said "only in the context of Community." As he warmed to his subject, I cried ... because yes, it's Community I think I almost miss more than anything else.

And then I became ... not for long but I became ... angry at you, Momma. For leaving Hornersville ... etched forever in my mind and soul as Community. You and Aunt Edna left ... and maybe now I'm simply suffering from "grass looks greener on the other side syndrome." You left, Momma, and never went back except to visit. Even with death approaching, you stated unequivocally that you wanted to be buried here in Tulsa, not in Hornersville. Here in Tulsa, where your family of today is: not only me but your sister of course, and her family.

And yet all your life, and mine, I've heard you speak of Hornersville ... as "home" in a sense that noplace else can be home.

Yet this is your home of choice, here in Tulsa.

I have no answers ... I know that if you had not left Hornersville, among other things, I would not (as far as I can see) have been born at all. You would have married someone other than Dad; and settled to have a family there in that Community.

Oh but how it hurts ... even now ... for me, who have never lived in Hornersville, who has only visited briefly, who has always had Hornersville in my imagination as the Community of our origins, though ... how painful it is not to be in this Community ...

Yet O Lord I am in another Community

Your Community of Faith

Your Body of Christ

Your Holy Roman Catholic Church

Community of communities

Communitas

O Lord though ... I love you

Ilove you Momma ...

O Lord please please please please please take good care of my good Momma

I love you Momma so much

I miss you Momma so much

Oh Momma

Oh Lord

Charles Delacroix
Monday of the 5th Week in Lent