Envy

[I wrote this last night when I was out of town at a professional conference]

Envy ... this is such a challenge. And really that is perhaps my biggest source of unhappiness during this period of Denouement.

Why envy anyone though? All is gift. All is gift. I received everything I have as gift. So did everyone else.

And we all … all of us … are like grass, here today, gone tomorrow …

Why shouldn’t that fill me with a sense of honor and love for everyone who has had the courage and perseverance to try, knowing the inevitable, intractable, end?

Including you Momma … but then that’s true of everyone, everyone.

How much I admire you Momma … for everything you did in your brief time here

How much therefore I also admire everyone for everything each man and woman has done in his or here brief time here?

There’s no place for Envy.

Only for Gratitude.

And now … since you have left, Momma … I guess I feel very, very much like Ken in In Bruges … namely, I just know that I’m not fighting anymore.

Enough. Enough fighting.

So gratefully, slowly, thankfully, as I walk my way off the stage of life, I choose by God’s Grace to just do the Next Right Thing, attend to basics, surrender Envy, and let things unfold until I am Called from this brief life, this vale of tears …