Moving Forward (?) ... The Tree is Down

OK ... I just finished putting away the Christmas things, and the tree is down. I put it on the other side of the back fence, along with some tree trimmings from the ice storm damage in the back. I'll take these things away this afternoon, God willing.

Everything's back in place in the living room, now. Momma, I know you would approve: it's New Year's Day, and everything from Christmas should be put away, and everthing else back in place.

Of course there is one thing ... one person ... not in place at all. Oh Momma. I suppose you are in the Place desired for you from all eternity. But oh oh oh oh Momma ... please Lord Jesus understand ... please oh Blessed Mary Mother of God understand ... oh I know you do ... I know you do ... oh nothing nothing nothing really feels "in place" here with Momma gone ...

Ohhhhhhhhhhh ....

Well now what ... I was going to put the tree & limbs in my truck & after dropping them off, I was going to either go see a movie, or stop at a Whataburger and work on either cards & letters, or on sorting through my student loan stuff to get ready for work tomorrow ...

Work ... tomorrow!

Oh how strange it feels ... I look forward to my new job ... and yet ... and yet ... a big part of me wonders what the point is ... with Momma not here ...

"Mahlesh" as we would say back in Tripoli, right, Momma? "Mahlesh": it doesn't matter.

Oh I know it matters ... everything matters ... in you O Lord ... but oh nothing feels like that right now ...

A year starts ... and so what? What's the point?

Mahlesh ...

The hand of Futility may weigh heavy now but O Lord by your Grace and O Momma and O Mary by your prayers I know things are bound to get better ...

Oh Lord help me to Move Forward ... I can't believe I'm using those words but O Lord I am ... whatever the hell Moving Forward means O Lord help me to Move Forward in You ...

I love you Lord Jesus

I love you Momma

I love you Mary

Oh Lord Jesus please please please take good care of my dear Momma

O Mary Mother of God by your intercessions help my dear Momma

Charles Delacroix
Mary Mother of God