Worth it ... all the Way ...

I remembered, for some reason, looking at Mom's jewelry box a month or ago. There was much sentimental treasure, but nothing of great monetary value. Fortunately, Mom and I had looked at it within a month or so of her death. How much pleasure there was in simply sitting and pulling out this or that and her telling the Tale of what each meant to her.

There's not much money there. But there's a treasure that nothing in Fort Knox could match, much less the world or the universe.

Mom had many expenses as her health waned. Yet she was a woman of great frugality though.

I remember her telling a story about Grandma - her mother - according to which Grampa (Lee) used to say that Bertha could "sit on a dime and leave 9/10 showing" ... :-) ... Aunt Edna and I were talking about this a week or so ago, and Aunt Edna said she said she remembers Grampa saying it, too. To me this is so moving ... and yet one more way in which Mom was so very like her own mother.

All the same, Mom did have many health-related expenses in what can be called in retrospect her declining years. Especially in the year before her death. It wasn't really very unusual for Mom to avoid spending money on herself that anyone else in the world would spend without a second thought. Part of my own role in supporting Mom during this time was to express my own strong opinion, again and again, to the effect that "Mom, it's your money. I think you should spend it on anything you want. How about spending it on you? You deserve it. You're worth it."

Of course the big expense for her was her health. I'm just very, very glad that she was able to overcome her own reluctance to spend her money on herself to do so anyway. She deserved it ... in so many, many ways.

Oh my ... you know, I was at one grief support group in which the topic was the money spent at the end. We were all talking about how much money we all spent, and that we all encouraged our loved ones to spend, in "staving off the inevitable" ... so to speak. We all talked about this and you know, there wasn't one person there who said that he or she would have made a different decision, or series of decisions, regarding these things. Not that anyone was happy about the cost of medical care these days. But we all know that prolonging life is expensive. That's reality. Still, someone pointed out that from birth that's what our money goes to, in effect, doesn't it, for all of us.

In this holy and terrible season of Christmas, when we celebrate the Incarnation of God, True God and True Man, Who spent everything on His Way of the Cross through this vale of tears, we all agreed, that it was worth it. Worth it all the Way.

Oh God, though, I miss her so much.

Momma, I love you so ... so so so much ...

Lord Jesus Christ I love you so ...

And Lord Jesus ... please please please ... take good, good, good care of my dear Momma ...

I love you and am more grateful than I can ever begin to express ... O Lord ... and Momma ...

Charles Delacroix
Feast of the Holy Name of Jesus