The Butterfly at the Grave

I visited Mom's grave early this afternoon ... and while there saw a yellow butterfly flutter across her grave.

It actually approached the roses in the vase at the head of her grave, and started to enter a rose; and then, no doubt having discovered that the roses are artificial, fluttered on off across the cemetery lawn.

But what a lovely creature to see. Mom loved butterflies. So do I. She would be ... and perhaps is ... delighted.

I take this as a sign of hope. There was another this morning.

A little background first ...

I am currently staying in my Mom's house - belongs to her, but we have both lived here for 7 years ... and it has been home for both of us. Home in more ways than I can begin to express. This is where she lived. This is where I was her caregiver as well as her son. This is where she died. And although I know others might want to move out of such a place of memories, I'm the opposite. Following a very old tradition for many families in the past, hte presence of life and death in my home only increase and deepen my love for this place. This is today Home ... HOme away from Home, of course, as are all Homes in this world, but even so, to that extent, to that very blessed extent, this is Home.

Alas, the estate is a bit messy ... legally ... to say the least ... bottom line, to my surprise, and I'm sure what would ahve been Mom's surprise, our Home passes 50% to me and 50% to a sibling. So I've been praying and consulting with others about attempting to raise enough money to buy out the sibling's interest in the home.

Well, at OOR this morning, I read the first chapter and part of the second chapter of Haggai; and the commentary on Haggai by St Cyril of Alexandria. See http://www.universalis.com/20071014/readings.htm ... and I thought this was both moving and encouraging. To whatever extent my own humble home ... that is, my & my mother's humble home ... can be teh Temple of the Lord in my little world ... then I would be very deeply grateful to find in such readings encouragement to go forward. Haggai demands answer to questeions: “Who is there left among you that saw this Temple in its former glory? And how does it look to you now? Does it seem nothing to you? But take courage now, Zerubbabel – it is the Lord who speaks. Courage, High Priest Joshua son of Jehozadak! Courage, all you people of the country! – it is the Lord who speaks. To work! I am with you – it is the Lord of Hosts who speaks– and my spirit remains among you. Do not be afraid! For the Lord of Hosts says this: A little while now, and I am going to shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all the nations and the treasures of all the nations shall flow in, and I will fill this Temple with glory, says the Lord of Hosts. Mine is the silver, mine the gold! – it is the Lord of Hosts who speaks. The new glory of this Temple is going to surpass the old, says the Lord of Hosts, and in this place I will give peace – it is the Lord of Hosts who speaks.”’

Courage and work ... perhaps these are words for me as I seek a new purpose, a new way to move forward, a new little Hope in the midst of this desolation.

Hope: a place to stay, not just a place to stay, but a Home ... our Home, my Home and my Mom's. A place for the dog, a refuge, A place that truly has been a Temple to the God Who watched over this amazing lady; who watched over our blessed little family; and Who I hope may yet watch over me.

Hope ... O Lord I hope in You ....

Love in Christ,

Charles Delacroix
28th Sunday of Ordinary Time