Obediently Accepting Even Death

Vespers / Evening Prayer for the Office of the Dead includes the famous Hymn to the Kenotic Christ from Philippians, 2:6-11. One part of which is:

"He was known to be of human estate,
and it was thus that he humbled himself,
obediently accepting death,
death on a cross"
(NAB)

Certainly Mom did this. And all who seek to Follow Christ are called to the same obedience, the same acceptance. And for some reason it suddenly occurred to me that my struggle with finding some kind of purpose for life after Mom's death might partly be answered here.

I know I know ... sort of obvious in a way. Yet the way I'm built is that without some kind of fairly concrete, fairly "in my face" purpose, I'm simply lost. Yet when I'm not feeling quite so lost, then I can hear a little more challenging level of purpose ... like that suggested by Philippians.

Redemptive suffering ... joining my pain to that of Christ ... joining my pain to that of all the countless Followers of Christ who fill up what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ ... why not? Pain itself, yes ... but of course the more intentional the act of "giving up' one's sufferings to Christ to use as He will ... that's really better. And so I did this. I intentionally asked God to take whatever pain and suffering I'm experiencing and use it for the benefit of others as He sees fit of course. This is I think the first time I've done this since Mom died. Seems silly not to have done so earlier; but again, I think the sheer volume and intensity of pain has simply overwhelmed me too much to be available for this level of yieldedness.

But ... breath in the pain, breath out the pain, and let the pain go to Christ and to His Church for His Glory and the redemption of all who have need, including myself.

This all of course fits with Salvifici Doloris very well indeed. How to pray such an intentional yielding to God's will and application of my pain to the needs of others ... all this fits in so well with what Salvifici Doloris calls the World of Suffering. Who does not after all experience suffering ... very great suffering ... in this Vale of Tears after all. And so this seems to by God's Grace fit both my need for Purpose ... and my need to be not so very Alone.

So ... instead of "looking for a purpose" and "looking for something to do for someone" I may, if I choose, find in my very suffering a real purpose.

And ... instead of "looking for a Friend" I may, if I choose, find glorous companionship in suffering, whether in the World of Suffering, or in Christ Who Bears His Cross before my little cross.

O Lord help me to find in You ... and in suffering with you and with the World of Suffering ... my Purpose.

And O Lord help me to find in You ... and in suffering with you and with the World of Suffering ... my antidote to Loneliness.

Thy Will Not Mine be Done O Lord.

Love in Christ,

Charles Delacroix
Feast of St Teresa d'Avila