"Into the Wild" - Nuclear Family and Hyperindividualism

I managed to stay for a little more than half of the 10:00 Mass this morning. I sat in the back of the Church till my feelings grew too strong; then I retired into the vestibule and looked in on the Mass till I could bear it no longer, and left, begging God's forgiveness. But looking at all those people, families, talking animatedly, praying together ... Oh Lord. I ought not to Envy them so. But I do. And Oh how I miss my Momma.

After I left Mass, I went to a movie theatre, and saw Into the Wild. See http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758758/

Much could be said about this remarkable movie. What most struck me was the depiction of (yet another) fragile, dysfunctional nuclear family; and a "spin-off" of a refugee from that family who seeks his meaning in hyperindividualism.

Naturally I could not help looking at both "poles" - nuclear family vs individual - and feeling acutely the absence of other more traditional alternatives, like the extended family, and the community.

One character - Mr Franz, played by the always fine actor, Hal Holbrook - especially touched a chord in my heart. Mr Franz is Catholic, and is the only child of his parents. In fact, he's the sole successor of a series of only children. He has experienced grief - his wife and daughter long dead. And he feels acutely that he is the end of his line; with him, he tearfully acknowledges, his succession is at an end. He is without legacy, without successors, without family.

Oh my ... me as well, Mr. Franz, me as well.

On the whole I liked this movie very much. But Mr Franz ... and the whole tragic story, for that matter ... sure brought forth my tears once again.

After the movie I visited Mom's grave and wept and wept and told her how much I missed her and how I loved her ... and also I told her how very, very, very grateful I am for the time I was allowed with her in this sad, brief vale of tears we call life.

What is there to say. Nothing; or everything.

I looked back at OOR from last Sunday and was once again reminded that I think that despite the bleakness and darkness that seems all around me, I am called to Courage and Work, and to Follow Christ, with Love the Foundation of Life, as the Collect for Week 28 of Ordinary Time says. I am only a walking dead man anyway; and any time I spend in this world is sheerest gift. Sheer agony as well. But gift all the same.

Thank you God for Mom. Thank you God for a world in which Mom and I were allowed some time together. Thank you for ... everything. For everything truly matters. Even if everything is stamped with the mark of Death; even if everything is futile and hopeless and pointless for such as me; even if there is nothing left for me here but to mourn and to remember and to grieve and to honor my Mother, while gratefully Following You till You Call me from this brief sojourn in this life ... even then, I am grateful, by Your Grace O Lord.

Thank you with all my heart O Lord.

Thy will be done.

Charles Delacroix
Sunday 29 in Ordinary Time